From the Philadelphia Inquirer...Well, well, well.
A mature person would never say "I told you so." It's the taunt of a fifth grader.
Hmmm. Just call me Elementary School Dave for the next few paragraphs.
To review: The team with the most Ping-Pong balls going into the NBA lottery has now gotten the first pick in the draft three times. In 18 years.
Moral: The Basketball Gods are not to be trifled with. (The Gods' starting five: Wilt Chamberlain, Pop Gates, George Mikan, Marcus Haynes, Pete Maravich. Sixth man: Maurice Stokes. Coaching staff: James Naismith, John McClendon, Phog Allen. Chick Hearn's at the mike.)
Enjoy Chinese forward Yi Jianlian, Boston. That's what you get for turning your back on . . . what was that phrase you all liked so much up there, when you were winning all those championships and were the league's signature franchise? Oh, yes: Celtic Pride.
We trust Al Horford will fill the seats to bursting in Memphis.
I'm sure Michael Redd will love watching Corey Brewer develop in Milwaukee.
To all who advocated that the Sixers tank this past season, just like Boston and the Grizzlies and the Bucks appeared to do . . . what say you now?
Those teams put their seasons on autopilot for long stretches, apparently with the notion that the grand prize - Greg Oden or Kevin Durant in the home white - was worth the short-term pain of stinking out the joint. Their reward for that heresy was watching their ill-conceived dreams implode, slowly and horribly, Tuesday evening.
Meanwhile, the Blazers - who played it straight down the stretch, will now be a force in the West for, oh, a decade or so.
"I have not made up my mind who we're going to take," Portland's GM, Kevin Pritchard, said on the phone yesterday, and because I once covered Kevin and think him a good guy, I thought it would be rude to laugh into the receiver.
(How lucky was Portland? In order to get the sixth spot in the lottery from which they leapt to No. 1, the Blazers had to win a tie-breaking coin toss with Minnesota. If the coin had landed the other way, the Wolves would have been sixth, and Kevin Garnett would be doing cartwheels today.)
With Oden playing alongside rookie of the year Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge, Portland could move its 20-and-10 guy, forward Zach Randolph, from a position of strength. Or it can keep Randolph and move center Joel Przybilla, who would start for half the teams in the league. Or it can keep them both and have absurd frontcourt depth.
The Sonics, who never debased themselves despite a slew of injuries, will now get Durant to go with Ray Allen, and be able to get all kinds of goodies for forward Rashard Lewis in a sign-and-trade.
And the Sixers, if they stay at 12, will get a player just as good as Milwaukee, Boston or Memphis - except he'll be significantly less expensive. (They'll try to move up, though, because Billy King says there's a top-five player he wants.)
But most important, they'll have their self respect, having competed just about every night, even when a lot of you were hoping - insisting - they didn't, in the pursuit of some pipe dream.
(Alas, the Eastern Conference as a whole continues to sink faster than Kirstie Alley in a Jell-O Jacuzzi. Atlanta might get some relief from the draft picking at 3 and 11, but that's about it. At this point, shouldn't West teams have to play with weights around their ankles when they go east of the Mississippi?)
Because Andre Miller is the ultimate professional, King won't have to reach at 12 for, say, an Acie Law (Texas A&M) or a Javaris Crittenton (Georgia Tech) to play point guard. He can address other needs - maybe Eastern Washington's Rodney Stuckey, a classic combo guard who puts some in mind of Chauncey Billups.
Because Joe Smith set a great, veteran example for three months, King knows he has at least a little depth. So maybe he can take a chance at 30 on a guy like Sean Williams, the former Boston College power forward with off-court issues but great skill if he can get his head together.
And because Andre Iguodala and Kyle Korver and Samuel Dalembert played with honor and effort most nights, King knows what they can and cannot do. That should make for a better draft for Philly - and if it doesn't, as I wrote the other day, King should get his walking papers. He's a grown man; he knows the stakes.
Maybe, after all the maneuvering, the Sixers will still stink next season.
But now, you know (you must know) that tanking is no answer, no panacea, but a mirage - a horrible, dishonorable, discredited strategy that leads to nothing but broken hearts, and cheated fans.